Read this!

Joey and Katie are sitting in school.

Katie is sleeping and the teacher asks her a question.

"Katie, who created Heaven and Earth?" Joey sees Katie sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.

"Jesus Christ almighty! !" Exclaimed Katie.

"Correct." Says the teacher.

So the next day the same incident occurs and the same question comes up “Who created Heaven and Earth?” Katie (Again sleeping) is poked by Joey’s pencil “Jesus Christ almighty!” she exclaims.

"Correct again." Says the teacher.

So the next day, for a 3rd time, The teacher asks Katie “What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?”

Katie (again sleeping) is poked by Joey’s pencil again, and screams “If you stick that thing in me one more time I am going to crack it in half!”

0 to 200 in 6 seconds

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed.  

She told him “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!”  

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.  

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house.  

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.  

Bob has been missing since Friday. 

  • Girl: You're like my brother
  • Boy: SHIT! friends zone
  • Mom/Mum: Clean up your room before your friends come over
  • Me: My friends don't care whether my room is messy or clean they only care if we have food.
  • Teacher: Why are you talking during my lesson?
  • Me: Why are you teaching during my conversation?
  • Friend: Can I ask a question?
  • Me: You just did
  • Me: Has the bus come yet?
  • Friend: Yea I just like standing here for no reason